Did I buy that or not?

Ok. Wrapping. List comparing to what I have to wrap. Totally lost. I thought I bought something. It's on my list that I bought it. I can only find something similar (aka for the other child) but NOT what I wrote on my list for the intended child. So did I really buy it? I tried to check online, no help, the order itself has already been deleted. Crap. Do I tear apart the house, looking for something I probably didn't buy? Of course I do, I only have 2 dinner parties to prepare said home for.

Did I mention I have been hiding in the BASEMENT, wrapping presents. The floor is COLD. My ass is frozen. Yes there is heat, but not on the floor!

My Hubby is crabby, not sure why. My kids are all bratty and I just want to cry.

Ha ha, stuck a "poem" in on ya!

This is all true though.

I started so early. I though I was SO organized about it. Is that WHY this is happening 2 days before Christmas.

I am not looking forward to InLaw Eve. I hope Hubby wakes up not in his mood. I can't decide if it was cause the kiddo's were awful, the fact we argued about what "age" one stops giving gifts to kids. He recalls none after 16. I pointed out that I still get gifts....and give them. To my cousins. My neices & nephews. I have phased out the birthday gifting on the later cause it was hard to be "fair". So...I pointed out that the gifts we recieve (cause MY family does gift him also and usually quite generously) are from people we SEE often and who are "giving" people. My mom (to whom most of our kids gifts can indirectly be thanked for due to free rent this month). My dad who gifts us the joy of dining out at whatever new place I have mentioned and Hubby's beloved Charlies... I don't ask for these things. I enjoy them. I am sorry his family has always been crap (recall the story of his bday's as a child---gift OR going out to dinner) I am sorry HIS family has a drinking, smoking, gambling away their retirement and not having a pot to piss in problem. MY family PLANS for things. I STARTED SHOPPING FOR MY SPOILEDS IN JUNE for Christ sake. Because I know how tight money is. I want to keep them ungreatful (no not really) spoiled heathens. Well ok, I wish they were quiet, resonabley greatful delights, but you get my point.

Anyway, that conversation combined with having to drive clear out to pick up OlderOne from my cousins and the fact that the movie Hubby has been longing to see, she forgot at her nanny gig apparently set him on a rant.

It happens every Christmas. Hell, for that matter, every "Holiday". Something happens to put him into pissy mode long enough to make me sad, cry or pissy myself and then the day is ruined. I spent one Easter crying about how ungreatful they all are in the bathroom. I have also mentioned to him how "holidays" spent at home are NO different for me than any other day. I get to clean, I get to cook, hence I look forward to things at OTHER people's homes. Well this year due to lack of marital bliss at the Aunt/Uncles...I am on my own. Christmas Day can't come soon enough. Come on NEW YEAR!

Guess that wasn't the inspiring spirit needed to hunt for the "missing?" present.

Won't Hubby be disgruntled with me when he finds 3 presents for him under that tree! He hates when I buy for him (cause he doesn't for me, on the notion that we buy what we want all year long) but I buy things he mentions and forgets about and that he'd never actually buy for himself. So. I like it. Get over it. I shall reform him and his holiday grumps if it kills me.

Merry Christmas and a Smashing NEW year!

Outta Christmas Ideas for those you despise?

Try our new improved fast acting.... Contagious Acute Gastrointestinal Infection (viral)! Only touch, look at or cook for those you really want to have this Holiday joy. Insert total sarcasm anywhere here now.

Still suffering from immense guilt and sadness at the loss of my only Christmas tradition. NO, not making my friends painfully ill. How does one make up for such a thing.

Off to join the Outbreak Causer Relocation program....of course there is such a thing how else do diseases spread world wide!

No, really toss your cookies here.

Apparently I have caused the Cookie Tossin' Outbreak. Everyone I know has come down with the hurls and "other". I am afraid I will be rejected next year for the cookie fest. Despite Lysol and Pinesol and cleaning doorknobs and whatnot. I feel horrible. I am so sorry guys, if it is indeed all my fault.


If the germies are still alive I guess I get to knock off the inlaws. So there is a perk. Just kidding.


Deranged cookie killer hiding her head in shame.

And just incase there were ANY doubts....

Congratulations! You are Lynette Scavo, the
ex-career woman who traded the boardroom for
boredom, mixed with moments of sheer panic as
the mother of four unmanageable kids.


Which Desperate Housewife are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Toss your cookies here....

Today I hosted my first all girl function...It was the utmost fun! I do believe...and if I may say so myself. I have some wonderfully baking (& not so baking)pals! Long live the the cookie sickness bags & champagne! Who knew!

That's alot of !!!'ing. I also had several HOURS in a row, without my children! Hanging out with GROWN-UPS (ok, and a beautiful fetus & a couple OTHER people's children) BUT still...all so pleasant.

I still have much shopping to do. and apparently have once again tarnished Hubby's plan to surprise me with his time off. I was complaining that I have to get all my stuff done tomorrow, in addition to taking OlderOne to the movies & attending snail/shrimp/bread/beerfest. He says...I have the whole week off. I love him so.

So now that the cookies are all exchanged and delivered to neighbors (need to bake some "extra" things for my mumster...must finish up last of shopping....Purchase food to live on...Purchase food for Christmas eve...and Christmas day dinner...OH and get the damn turkey out of my fridge tomorrow and into the oven. That doesnt sound too fair, I get fancy, they get dry ass turkey!

Deranged...off to make another looney list!

How much chocolate does it take

To eradicate a less than stellar day of mominit and a mile long to do list. At last count 6 Kisses hasn't done it. Maybe an IV. Maybe a sledgehammer. Maybe a charming trip to the store for cookie creating supplies. Or better yet, a GIANT Mt Dew and then that shopping. Now for what store....one that sells lots of duct tape & coal. Cause that's what these demons are getting. Unless they give me back my last nerve. NOW!

If anyone has any spare time or extra energy, I will pay nicely for it. I can't return it and I have none to replace it with.

Update

OlderOne has now joined the ranks. More laundry. I am now OUT of PineSol. Low on bleach (which I had just bought) and SO out of patience and nursing/mothering skills. I have Neosporin in my nose to prevent ME from acquiring this mother killing sickness. Armed with Lysol and Germ-X off to battle the rest of the day.

Oh yeah, coasters are finished, cause pukey faced kids lay around alot. So technically peaceful. No. Not really.

I heart the lotto

Nope I didn't win the big $171 mill. Not even close, trust me, those I love would indeed be house shopping and hitting some far away retail therapy'ing with me. No, I did however get $20 in FREE scratchies in the mail. Hence winning $23 (& 3 free tickets one earning $1 more) So $24! Woohoo, I bought me a wallet at the purse party in addition to my new cute little wintery/Christmas'y red cordoroy bag! Yeah, I know I should have saved my money but...Life is short and purses are the only thing I can truely claim as mine. Well except when the Princess wants to play with them or I am using them to lug THEIR stuff. Still mine.

And then TODAY! I went to enter some goofy holiday second chance loser scratchie thing and they'll be sending me $10 more in scratchies & a scratchie'ing thing to scratch with. Ha. Now that was a dumb sentence.

Friday night Princess was ill equalling lots of laundry to do. Saturday still ill equalling hard to potty train day. Gack. (yeah, bad mom, went pursing with sick girl, she was fine, napped with dad while i was gone ever so briefly) Sunday (today) sick Capt Undies aka YoungOne still taking toll on laundry though much better at bucket than a 20 month old with too much hair.... So I truelly deserve a longer break than my minutes of scratch ticketing and purse oggleing, but instead, I get to clean for radication of germs before upcoming "festivities" do LOTS of laundry, make several skitzo lists of things to do, bake & buy. Crap Christmas cards. Crap coasters to finish. Oh hell.

Deranged Mommie giving up on Pre Holiday bliss yet again!

What next...

In 2005 I would like to avoid all hospitals. NO giving birth, no sick kids, no ER visits, no friends & no family illness's.

The Princess has the same infection as my boys did. So far, we have been able to keep HER outta the hospital.

However...Hubbykins decided we had to meet our year end quota. Why? I don't know, cause I had plans? Anyway, I go to run to help my mom write out some things, I get this call...Princess has poked him in his eye, am I coming home? Um, nope I was going "bowling", but sure, I can drop everything. Cause that is what I do. I make plans to go out. AND sure enough, a disaster. Stamping, drinking, even Card writing.
SO I come home and he can't open his eye. Won't let me "pull" it open, yet wants me to figure out what's wrong & to fix it. Cause, I am the great MOM and can just magically do this. Um, no. So. I give him a wet washcloth & some Tylenol PM. I go watch an incredibley odd movie (Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind). Fall asleep.
Wake up with him telling (blindly) he is going to the hospital. It's 1:30 am. Ok...3 kids MRSA positive. Emergency room. Oh yeah, sleeping kids. Who the hell do I know awake & SOBER at this hour.....Papa. SO ...my crazy non sleeping over cafienated broken wristed father comes over in 9 minutes flat. I love him. Close & crazy.

Did you know they make a dye to make your eye glow in the dark? IT was SO COOL. Ok, for entertainment at 3 in the morning. The ER was fast & sympathetic. Lucky Hubby. Hospital smell gags me and I spent the whole visit trying not to hurl from the "scent". It makes me sweat. It makes me nauseous.

Bottomline....A beautiful exact replica scratch of my girls fingernail on the cornea of his left eye. Off to fill prescriptions that according to him, aren't working for the pain. So have a beer with your meds. What else can I do. I do feel for him. Honest. But MEN are GIANT babies. I have posted this before. Lucky for him I am not after my sprained ankle paybacks or he'd be in big trouble.

So off to play doctor. Where's that thermometer...Oh yeah I think the dog had it last.... just kidding.

I am not a Hugger

You know some people are huggy. Some are not. Hubby's family for whatever reason likes to hug (perhaps to cover the fact that they are not loving people to start with.) Don't get me wrong, I hug my Hubby and I hug my kids. I hug those I haven't seen in a long time. But other hugging seems forced. The hug for comfort to those who are sad or grieving. The hug of congratulations. I don't know. Call me weird. My kids give hugs & kisses to grandparents and those others when told to say good bye. But I don't know, for me, it's just not there. And then when you "forceabley" hug another non hugger cause you don't know what else to do, then it is even more uncomfortable.

I think I am an avoider. Well, I know it. I prefer to laugh and joke. Not bring anything up to make a situation miserable.

Where am I going with this? Well today, I am a little off.

I ran into someone at a local store. A former friend of a friend kinda thing. A friend I hadn't talked to in awhile. You know how it can be, get married, life changes. Hers, not mine. I just keep throwing new kids in to keep it lively...(ok, chaotic) Anyway, the ff tells me the story of why her and the mutual friend aren't friends anymore. Which I already knew. Moral of that, if you have to think about telling someone something you've "known" for 2 weeks, then maybe you should just not tell them. I don't even know if the thing was true or not, but still. They had been friends for 10 years or so. A long time to throw it away. I digress. Anyway, I call the friend cause I had been meaning to anyway. and like a dumbass, I tell her of this conversation, figuring no big deal since I knew of it anyway. Wrong, friend was terribly upset the ff was still telling this story. So, I felt bad for even telling her....

Then there's my darling Froggy friend....have a beer and love your puppy (since it's too cold to float your boats) in honor of Gramps. I am not good in those situations. But I guess chips & cheese and an onry little Princess is a good thing. At least a slight distraction from all the pending hugging.

Other than that, another day with nothing accomplished. Still a house full of disaster. Still nothing to wear to the Holiday Lobsta and now, must locate something appropriate for mourning a loss with a friend. I own no Husker wear so that's out. Must go work on my Keystone Light bouquet arrangement. Just kidding.